Self Esteem

Self esteem and the confidence booster

The confidence booster gives you activities which help get you out of your current rut and helps you to get excited about the world you live in and your way of life.

 

Self esteem is very important. The way we view and feel about ourselves has a profound effect on how we live our lives. These opinions are shaped by experiences within the family, at school, from friendships and in wider society. Self esteem involves our ability to think, to deal with life and to be happy. Therefore, a high self-esteem is the confidence booster as it is not so much how people view you, but how you view yourself.

From infancy, we look for encouragement and approval. Yet our culture does not readily give this. Parents can be tough taskmasters in seeking the best for their children. Young people have a tendency to be intolerant or indifferent and often mock their peers who are clever or hard working. There is a constant bombardment of messages telling us how you can improve your life right now, we should be young, slim, beautiful, fashionably dressed, have a lover and money to spend. Even when we have pride in our ability and pride in ourselves, this can be regarded as being arrogant, boastful or conceited.

Rejection or loss at any age is not the confidence booster we require and is likely to undermine self-esteem. Events like parents separating, an unsuccessful business deal, having an accident, a burglary or coping with a death are likely to provoke feelings of loss and threat. For some this is temporary, whilst for others the effects are longer lasting.

On the other hand, success is the confidence booster, and academic achievement can be an obvious signal of success. However, a competitive environment can easily lead to self-doubt and insecurity. You may even feel that other people over-estimate your ability and this burden of expectation can lead to a sense of failure and impossibility. However, what we feel about ourselves is not based solely on what we do. It usually involves our relationships with others and whether we feel worthwhile as people. We have a basic human need to be wanted, noticed, and included. We want to contribute, to be of value, and make a difference -in other words, to matter.

Unfortunately, efforts to convey the significance and critical nature of self esteem have been hampered by misconceptions and confusion over what is meant by the term “self-esteem.” Some have referred to it as merely “feeling good” or having positive feelings about oneself.

Others have gone so far as to equate it with egotism, arrogance, conceit, and a sense of superiority. Such characteristics cannot be attributed to authentic, healthy self-esteem, because they are actually defensive reactions to the lack of authentic self-esteem, which is sometimes referred to as “pseudo self-esteem.”

Our self-esteem will continually fluctuate and is affected by events and encounters with other people. We are also constantly judging and evaluating ourselves, often in comparison with others. Observing ourselves in relation to other people can be a helpful source of learning and feedback. Yet all too often comparison slips into competition and others become a yardstick by which we evaluate ourselves as good or bad, competent or inadequate.

The reality is we are all different. Each of us has strengths and limitations which we need to learn about and learn to live with. You are the master of your success. There are aspects of our behavior and appearance we may seek to change or develop, but a sense of self is also based on self-awareness and self-acceptance. Change is not easy. It means stepping into the unknown and taking a risk. Inevitably, this means that some initiatives you take will work well, whilst others do not work out as you hoped. You can help yourself by being realistic in your choices and seeing each success as a step in the right direction. This is why the confidence booster type realistic goal setting is important. Aim for your long-term goal “the whole cake” in small digestible, achievable slices.

Creativity plays a vital role in boosting our self-esteem. Always think about how pleased you are when you make something new or come up with an innovative idea. Remember that small changes add up. Call on other people to help you by being encouraging, taking an interest, giving feedback, and making suggestions.

Do things for pleasure or for fun. Think about ways you can enjoy yourself. Put effort into making life pleasurable and satisfying. Arrange to be in situations that are playful and make you laugh. Learn something new. Maybe, something you have always wanted to try, even something you never thought you could do. Pay more attention to your appearance. Pamper yourself. Choose a new hairstyle or color in clothing. Buy a magazine that gives advice on personal presentation. Reward yourself in other ways. What about giving yourself one day off from work a week? Buy yourself a little treat. Do something you particularly enjoy but do not often get around to.

We do not like other people saying nasty things about us so why say them to yourself? Listen to how you treat yourself -the internal conversation. Low self esteem makes it difficult to identify strong points but it does not mean you do not have them -only that they are unfamiliar to you. Avoid as much as possible, situations and people that leave you feeling bad about yourself and spend more time concentrating on experiences, which are likely to be successful and rewarding. This will give you the confidence booster you require.