Why do relationships go wrong?
It is often difficult to understand why the biggest part of a good relationship or marriage is having commitment.
Commitment is not a popular word in our culture. Today’s society emphasizes individual rights, personal freedom, and mobility. The idea of giving them up because of commitment and dedication to another person or having loyalty and faithfulness to a relationship makes a lot of people feel trapped.
However, it seems that you cannot have it both ways. In a relationship, you cannot bend the rules to fit your own personal rights. This means that, your commitment to your relationship supersedes your individual rights, but you are not giving up your freedom or choices.
Commitment means putting your partners needs above your own. Studies show that the best indicator of marital well-being is how each partner feels. In a good relationship you should not forget your partner needs, and only think of your own, as when you think only of yourself it can end in disappointment and irritation. This is when the doubts start to set in and you wonder what it would be like to be in a different relationship. Satisfaction comes from focusing on your partner’s needs as well as your own.
The most important aspect of any relationship or marriage is communication. If you can talk to your partner, your relationship will grow. Communication builds trust. When you communicate in a relationship, you keep it going forward.
Another important thing is having a firm foundation. By building a foundation will keep it from falling apart. The most important aspects are that your values, morals and beliefs are your foundation. You also need understanding, honesty and forgiveness. Without these things your relationship will not survive.
My overall view is that the relationship still remains of vital importance, and is the foundation of any society. A relationship can give you a happy and an enjoyable family life.
Both relationships and marriages are to be enjoyed. It is an adventure of love that lasts a lifetime.
A good relationship brings fun, laughter and a meaning to life. In some relationships thirty years on, love is still like a thousand violins playing the thrill of shared experiences, building memories, facing new challenges and so much more.
Why a Relationship or Marriage Can Go Wrong.
These days we hear about many relationships that fail. After a time couples discover that they have nothing to say to each other, and they start doing things by themselves. The relationship becomes disconnected and then romance leaves, causing one of the couple to look for romance elsewhere.
A relationship or marriage break-down does not happen because of incompatibility, but because you do not know what you need to make your relationship work.
We live in a consumerist age in which people are not used to mending things. If something is not working, it is easier and cheaper to buy a new one. We are encouraged to believe that fulfillment comes with as little effort as possible, rather than you working at something. Many often view a relationship today as a temporary contract between two people, and this only lasts as long as the love lasts. Far too often in a relationship, you react negatively to each other’s behavior and you blame each other when things go wrong.
The media have done us a great disservice by making a big joke out of affairs and unfaithfulness. By watching soaps and movies, you would think that everybody is hopping from one bed to another, and that it is not that big a deal. However, the truth is that sexual infidelity is one of the main causes of divorce or separation. Some relationships do survive a partners infidelity but, at a great cost.
Stay Out of the Trap and Know the Truth.
Maximum sexual fulfillment only comes from a committed relationship. So ask yourself this. “Do you want the best for your relationship”? If your answer is yes, DO NOT CHEAT. You will only be cheating yourself and your partner.
Build Your Emotional Closeness.
The better you get along with your partner the better your sex will be, the less tempting it will be to stray.
Confide in Your Partner Rather than a Friend of the Opposite Sex.
Becoming emotionally intimate with a friend makes sexual unfaithfulness an easy step to make. Most affairs begin with a simple innocent friendship.
Guard Your Thoughts.
DO NOT risk fantasizing about other romantic attachments. Your actions will tend to follow your thoughts.
Keep the Romance Alive.
A long-term relationship does not have to become dull and boring, but keeping the romance alive does take a joint effort. It is your choice to keep the excitement and enchantment throughout you relationship. The same as you did in the early stages of you relationship.
Do not listen to Marriage Cynics.
Like the comedian said “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married- by then it was too late”.
Do not listen to the humbug who say’s “Why would you want to get into a full time relationship or get married?”
I cannot emphasize enough that a relationship takes a lot of hard work and commitment. With the divorce rate and separation rate rising, many enter into a relationship commitment with one eye on the exit door, giving them a way out. You need to put your undivided attention and unwavering commitment into your relationship to keep it healthy and thriving. It is like glue, it holds you together as a couple even when the adrenaline rush has gone and the music has faded, it is about being kind, generous, and affectionate and affirming your love for each other.
Not all relationships fail for the same reason. Nor is there usually one reason for a breakdown. Nevertheless, I do hear some reasons more often than others. The most common are communication breakdown, financial problems, lack of commitment, dramatic changes in priorities and infidelity.
Other examples are because there is a baby on the way and the family and friends are pushing you in to making a comment this is not right for you.
Going into a relationship at a young age just so you can escape your home life is also not the right way.
Most couples do work hard at their relationship, but they work on the wrong things and in the wrong ways, and end up in a dead-end situation. However, if your relationship seems to be at a dead-end, there is always the possibility that the dead end is a new beginning in disguise.
The dead-end feeling may be telling you that your old ways of relating to each other does not work and that new ways will work, and can be substituted instead. You may be misreading the dead-end signs to mean separation or divorce when it really means, “Take a detour to a better relationship”.
As important as it is to take a stand on issues that may be unacceptable to you. It is just as important to realize that in order to be happy with your partner; you do not necessarily have to like everything your partner does. There is an illusion that you will be able to change all the things about your relationship and your partner that you do not like, and then feel good about the things you have changed. However, this does not make for a happy outcome.
Here are some tips on what makes a good relationship.
You need to create a good relationship or marriage.
Never be too old to hold hands.
Have a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
Remember to say, “I love you”.
Never go to sleep on an argument.
Speak words of appreciation and demonstrate gratitude in thoughtful ways.
Having the capacity to forgive and forget.
Give each other an atmosphere in which you can both grow.
Commutate how you feel to each other.